Ask Harry
by selemi
Summary: ... and his friends and foes questions we know you and the rest of our readers are eager to ask. All questions will be answered. And may the wrackspurts never bother you! Sincerely, Editor of the Quibler


A/N: I saw something similar to this on a Death Note fanfic and wanted to try it out. I wrote my own questions but I'd really appreciate it if other people sent me some as well (along with reviews). Also please note that character deaths will be ignored or mentioned depending on how I feel at the time :D Or if its necessary to move the answer along.

The Quibler is please to anounce our new column: Ask Harry (and his friends and foes). Harry (and his friends and foes) will answer the questions you have for them.

--The Editor

Dear Harry,  
If magic can grow bones and straighten teeth, why can't it fix your vision so you can get rid of the glasses?  
And have you ever tried contacts?  
Sincerely,  
I-have-20-20-vision

Ginny: Thank you! I have been trying to tell him that since we got together.  
Harry: And I thought you liked me for me...  
Ron: Hey, isn't this Harry's question?  
Ginny: Good point, answer the question, Harry.  
Harry: Well, I guess you can say these glass are kinda a part of me--  
Ron: YOU MEAN YOU WERE BORN WITH GLASSES STUCK TO YOU?!?!?!?  
Ginny: ...  
Harry: ...  
Harry: (annoyed) You know what? Forget this. I have glasses because I feel like it. And, NO! I don't want to stick little plastic things called "contacts" into my eyes! I'm leaving this column!  
Luna: Um, Harry? It's called "Ask HARRY (and his friends and foes)" you have to stay. Besides you signed the papers saying you wouldn't leave if a question bothers you.  
Harry: Fine...

Dear Ron,  
How does it feel to be always outshined by Harry Potter? And the rest of your brothers for that matter?  
And how does it feel to be so poor?  
Sincerely(not really),  
I-am-awesome

Ron: (furious shade of red) LUNA!!!!  
Luna: Is something wrong?  
Ron: Have you seen that question?  
Luna: Yes. It was quite a thought pondering question....a little rude though...  
Ron: A LITTLE?!?!?  
Draco: Just answer the question, Weasley.  
Harry: I wonder who asked that question.  
Draco: Well who ever did, I'm sure, is quite awesome, as they have stated as their pen-name. Just answer the question, Weasley. Don't want to keep them waiting.  
Hermione: Hmmm.... The rude question... Malfoy insisting Ron answer it AND complimenting someone... I think I know who it is....  
Draco: No you don't. Now answer, Weasley.  
Harry: I think I know too....  
**simontaniously: **  
_Harry: Voldemort!_  
_Hermione: Malfoy! _  
**simontaniously:**  
_Harry: Malfoy?_  
_Hermione: Voldemort?  
_Hermione: Harry, Voldemort is DEAD!  
Harry: Yeah, so it has to be Malfoy.  
Ron: I knew agreeing to this was a bad idea.  
Draco: (snickers)

Dear Voldemort,  
How does it feel to have the awesomest teenager defeat you multiple times?  
And how does it feel to be so ugly?  
Sincerely,  
Green Eyes

Voldemort: I will kill who ever asked this question!!!!!!!!!!  
Luna: No you can't, its in the contract you signed.  
Voldemort: I will kill that contract!!!! Avada Kedavra!

Hermione: (reprimandingly) Harry, you shouldn't have wrote Voldemort that question.  
Ron: Chill Hermione, I'm sure he chose a pen name that won't give him away. Tell her, Harry.  
Harry: I uh...chose.. "Green Eyes".  
Hermione: Stupid.  
Voldemort: If you'll excuse me children, I have a little business to take care of with Harry. Avada Kedavra!  
Harry: Ow?  
Voldemort: Stupid power of love!!!!!!

Dear Draco,  
How do you personally feel about Hermione?  
All the fanfictions pair you up together.  
Sincerely,  
Dramione fan

Draco: WHAT IMBECILLE ASKED THIS STUPID QUESTION?!?!?  
Luna: That's not very nice.  
Draco: ...  
Luna: ...oh see the nargles? (spots nargles somewhere and leaves)  
Draco: There is no way, I, Draco Malfoy, could ever like a mudblood like Granger.  
Harry: Hey what does dra-ahh-mio mio-nee... draa-mio-nee mean?  
Hermione: I.. I think its a combination of our first names.  
Draco: This is an outrage. Like my name could ever be combined with.. with... that. The Malfoy blood is always pure. From the great moments in the Dark Ages to all inbetween. I can trail it back to my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great....

Draco: ...great-great-great---  
Hermione: Petrificus Totalus!  
Draco: ...  
Harry: ...  
Hermione: Oh c'mon! Wasn't he bothering you as well?  
Luna: (comes back) oh Hermione, you're here as well? And I see Draco is... taking a nap? The nargles must've got him or a wrackspurt...

* * *

**A/N: Not my greatest bit of writing. Just an expirement. Please give me an honest opinion of how it is. (And if its good, an question suggestions or ideas?) **


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